Filed under: Rants
Note to self: Refrain from saying yes and think of others all the time.The chances of them thinking of you is zilch…
Planning to move is never an easy thing to do. Alot of preparation and calculation need to be done. I have this planned 4 months ago I think when I was not able to continue my studies.
Before I could even book a ticket to transport myself to China,so many hurdles.I have my parents to convince, employers to convince,make so many payments and budget to plan.
At some point every single hurdle I encounter will make me think that this a sign that I should not go. It’s a sign,oh no! what am I suppose to do. But I always have to be strong,determine and persevere on that this is a good step to take.the first step to my probable success.of course it wont come easy.
Traveling is what I want then I should not easily give up. No doubt I am picky but when it comes to the future i have to be.
The preparation for this trip was chaotic.So many things that could have stop me from continuing.It’s at some point I actually believe I’m down on my luck this year.Honestly i feel that.It’s crazy..
Test after test.It seems endless and I was already tired of it. When I manage to solve one test,in an instance another just pop by.
I keep telling myself oh my god! oh my god! i’m damn suay. It could be god is telling me this is your choice.You want it,you must suck it up and do what you need to do.
Even now,1 move i made which cause misunderstanding between 2 people.My action put that person and myself in trouble. I was so troubled by it. None of us thought that this would happen. We didnt even anticipate this at all. I felt so horrible that I cant even sleep cos it’s like stuck in my head.It’s in my sleep.My heart pounds darn hard that i could feel it’s racing. I can’t stop thinking about it.
You know for all you know it’s another test. God, I hope you go easy on me this time. Not only that please god i dont know what you have prepare for me ahead but i just want to say that i will try as hard as i could to get to where i want to be.
I know you’re with me no matter what lies ahead.Even at my ugliest and dumb moments you’ll never abondon me.
Now I am a step closer to achieve what I want. I bought myself a ticket. The flight is at 0110 on the 3rd Oct.I know I’m checking in on 2nd of Hari Raya but to get what you want sacrificing is as important.
Now I’m left with to call the embassy to clear my doubts.Once my doubts are cleared,off I go to the embassy to get myself a visa.Before you know it, i’m flying off and land at the land of opportunity or the next power house.New experience,new environment and new everything.
It’s like i’m back being a child learning everything about the world.I’m afraid but so excited.I’m ready to explore!
Well,I’m buying tickets soon.Haven’t really decide which date..Will it be 3rd or 4th..
Anyway,let me tell you about my experience that I had about this lady called Ren from so and so company (big company).She actually went out of her way to help me and even offered to help when I’m in Beijing.She gave me her number. I know people might think oh she’s up to something and very cunning.
Well I manage to speak to her on the phone actually.Very nice lady. well actually I sent my resume to her but she says she’s not a recruiter but she send to some recruiters which of course she cc to me whoever she sent. So I checked out all the recruiters website for big company. I am glad someone actually want to go all the way to help other people. See maybe after all we shouldnt generalize people,there are still handful who are nice.
Though I do not expect alot but it’s always a good start to think there are still helpful and nice people out there.
Recently my parents and I went to Mustaffa Centre to get a bag for me. The price is pretty reasonable.While we were there, we bought Hari Raya top and bottom for my brother.Of course,I tried to be thick skin and took a jeans for myself as well.Haha..Yay my first Levis Jeans.Ya ya I know people will say What 1st Levis when you’re @# but what the hell. It’s good to have new 1st ones.
My packing is almost done.Well let me see,I’ve packed my shoes,jackets,working clothes,going out clothes and books. It’s heavy and I forsee me paying for excess baggage.I was thinking maybe I should go early and see if I can check in with other people so that i wont have to pay for excess baggage.Call me cheapo but it’s a good idea.
Well let’s see what I have not done.I should go get my Visa done soon and yes my tickets.How can I go Beijing without a ticket.I dont know when I will get an answer for the ticket.Anyway, despite being angry with certain someone ( I shall not name names ), I think the person has a reason for explaining to me all that like a certain someone said to me this morning.
“smtm between husband n wife, they use dat as an xcusee to buy time or a way out… by saying d other party not agreeable….e.g wen XXXX dun wana go smwher w sm ppl, he’ll tell them i ask my wifr 1st ke, my wife dun reli like… bt in reality it’s neither… it’s jus a way to cover for ea other when 1 party nids to worm his/her way out.”
But of course I could come to my own conclusion and look at different perspective. I could whine and complain and all that but it’s never going to change anything right.Let’s just leave it as it is for the moment.It’s a bad start to have all this negativity around your thought.
So I called NTUC INCOME to ask them about the insurance.Travelling insurance for a year for my age is $240 for classic plan and $360 for deluxe.Maybe I shouldn’t get a yr for travelling cos it’s not as if I am travelling so much.I will just fly there and probably stay put there till I need to go home.
there are many things that need to be done but nothing can be done now.Annoying people and I know there are still some people who are against my plan.You’re not helping so should i say buzz off.Feeling all angsty..
I decided to create this blog with purpose of recording my journey to start afresh in a foreign land. I have always wanted to experience to live independently and broaden my knowledge of the world. Doesn’t matter if people think I am over ambitious. I just want to be able to experience all that and hopefully be a better person and finding who i really am.
I have always wanted to do many things.Things that probably not many would dare to venture. I don’t want to always be the person of ‘What ifs’. I want to be able to say i’m glad i have done this and i don’t regret i took this route.
No doubt some decisions made were not the best ones but learning the mistake from that decision will only make you stronger. I know there’s consequences to every decision made.
That’s why I have decided to go to Beijing to work even if means for awhile. The lesson learned will be invaluable compared to the money i will be spending. Taking risk is not just about jumping into it but risk is knowing what you have made that calculation and willing to go through the ordeal of the unknown that lies ahead.
For now, preparation has begun for the move. I did my studies but i am always on a learning journey till i decide to stop learning.
With this blog,my journey will be recorded and no promises of daily write up but i try to update as often to keep my family and friends posted of my journey.
I know there are people who believe in me no matter how ridiculous my ideas can be at times and they are always there to provide me with all their support. Thank you Er Sao & Weizhen for believing in me.
